![\"IMG_7721\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bruin.se\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/IMG_7721-e1470325399570.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\nen hudl\u00f6s svamp med femtusen k\u00e4nslospr\u00f6t<\/p>\n
\u00e4r tvungen<\/p>\n
att h\u00e4rda sig<\/p>\n
h\u00e4rda sig<\/p>\n
h\u00e4rda sig<\/p>\n
(rustad rak och pansarsluten<\/em><\/p>\n gick jag fram)*<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n tills livsfarkosten kunde man\u00f6vreras i tre\u00a0dimensioner<\/p>\n utan att spr\u00e4ngas<\/p>\n av intrycken<\/p>\n <\/p>\n jag (et)<\/p>\n l\u00e4rde mig (sig)<\/p>\n k\u00f6ra allt smidigare, snabbare<\/p>\n f\u00f6lja det som tycktes vara<\/p>\n bruksanvisningen<\/p>\n (”jag” k\u00e4nner mig s\u00e5 liten och sk\u00f6r)<\/p>\n (”jag” m\u00e5ste)<\/p>\n (bli n\u00e5gon, vara n\u00e5got, lyckas, lyckas, lyckas)<\/p>\n (str\u00e4va!)<\/p>\n (efter mer, mer, mer!)<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n jag kunde<\/p>\n jag v\u00e4xte<\/p>\n skalet blev starkt<\/p>\n (men av skr\u00e4ck var brynjan gjuten<\/em><\/p>\n och av skam)*<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n ”jag” knycklade ihop<\/p>\n 4997 k\u00e4nslospr\u00f6t<\/p>\n sa \u00e5t dem att h\u00e5lla k\u00e4ften<\/p>\n medan jag l\u00e4rde mig<\/p>\n tala, skr\u00e5la, t\u00e4vla, skoja, armb\u00e5ga, babbla och prestera<\/p>\n <\/p>\n just s\u00e5 som jag trodde<\/p>\n att det skulle g\u00e5 till<\/p>\n <\/p>\n bam.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n (m\u00e4ktigt \u00e4r det sp\u00e4da livet<\/em><\/p>\n mer \u00e4n j\u00e4rn<\/em><\/p>\n fram ur jordens hj\u00e4rta drivet<\/em><\/p>\n utan v\u00e4rn)*<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n 4997 k\u00e4nslospr\u00f6t<\/p>\n kr\u00e4vde tack och lov<\/p>\n \u00e5ter<\/p>\n sin existensiella r\u00e4tt<\/p>\n <\/p>\n br\u00f6t fram<\/p>\n <\/p>\n ber ”jaget” h\u00e5lla k\u00e4ften<\/p>\n n\u00e4r det inte f\u00e5r en fr\u00e5ga<\/p>\n som det kanske kan ha rationellt svar p\u00e5<\/p>\n <\/p>\n alla sinnen nakna<\/p>\n finner\u00a0dimensioner<\/p>\n som\u00a0endast femtusen\u00a0k\u00e4nslospr\u00f6t kan uppleva<\/p>\n <\/p>\n till\u00e5ter sj\u00e4len<\/p>\n alltet<\/p>\n genomsyra mig<\/p>\n \u00e4r fj\u00e4rilen<\/p>\n bladen<\/p>\n solv\u00e4rmen<\/p>\n blomman<\/p>\n tr\u00e4det<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u00e4r folksamlingen<\/p>\n \u00e4r v\u00e4nnen<\/p>\n k\u00e4nner in<\/p>\n k\u00e4nner med<\/p>\n k\u00e4nner allt<\/p>\n <\/p>\n inte s\u00e5 ont l\u00e4ngre<\/p>\n inte s\u00e5 r\u00e4dd l\u00e4ngre<\/p>\n det fungerar b\u00e4ttre nu<\/p>\n om \u00e4n lite yr<\/p>\n lite vinglig<\/p>\n <\/p>\n lite levande<\/p>\n lite lycklig<\/p>\n <\/p>\n (v\u00e5ren gryr i vinterns trakter<\/em><\/p>\n d\u00e4r jag fr\u00f6s<\/em><\/p>\n jag vill m\u00f6ta livets makter<\/em><\/p>\n vapenl\u00f6s)*<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n * Karin Boye – Jag vill m\u00f6ta…<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" yr av intryck gr\u00e4nsen mellan jag\u00a0och allt suddas ut det ”jag” som s\u00e5 l\u00e4nge livr\u00e4dd klamrat sig vid logiska tankeramsor f\u00f6rklaringsmodeller och skyddsmurar jaget f\u00f6ddes utan utan jag f\u00f6r 49 \u00e5r sedan en o\u00e4ndlig sj\u00e4l f\u00e5ngad i … Continued<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":846,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"_oct_exclude_from_cache":false,"kt_blocks_editor_width":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[2881,18],"tags":[26],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bruin.se\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/IMG_7416-e1470329714329.jpg?fit=2448%2C3264&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7ETe6-dr","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/833"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=833"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/833\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":861,"href":"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/833\/revisions\/861"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/846"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=833"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=833"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=833"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n