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{"id":3103,"date":"2019-09-30T07:26:36","date_gmt":"2019-09-30T05:26:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/?p=3103"},"modified":"2020-03-16T15:42:53","modified_gmt":"2020-03-16T13:42:53","slug":"lagvattenmarke","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/lagvattenmarke\/","title":{"rendered":"L\u00e5gvattenm\u00e4rke"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Ig\u00e5r var en hemsk dag. Of\u00f6rm\u00e5gan n\u00e5dde all time high. S\u00f6ndagar \u00e4r snickardagar (liksom tisdagar och onsdagar, f\u00f6r d\u00e5 har M tid att jobba med), och jag var s\u00e5 stolt \u00f6ver min <a href=\"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/2019\/09\/30\/toalettlosning\/\">toaletthj\u00e4lteinsats<\/a> dagen innan. Trodde det kunde bli en bra och rolig arbetsdag; vi skulle s\u00e4tta upp liggande reglar och skruva upp skivor p\u00e5 en av v\u00e4ggarna. Men tydligen hade jag gjort av med f\u00f6r mycket f\u00f6rm\u00e5ga.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Kroppen var helt slutk\u00f6rd redan fr\u00e5n start. Att f\u00f6redra n\u00e4r jag har en s\u00e5dan h\u00e4r dag, \u00e4r att lyssna in kroppen och ta det lugnt. Men jag kan inte missa en arbetsdag, huset bygger sig inte sj\u00e4lvt. Jag balanserar p\u00e5 en mycket smal lina mellan envishet och dumhet h\u00e4r.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Kunde inte t\u00e4nka, m\u00e4tte fel, t\u00e4nkte fel, orden kom ut fel. Kroppen var som en seng\u00e5ngare. Allt gjorde ont, till och med regndropparna mot huden. F\u00f6r givetvis b\u00f6rjade det regna trots att prognosen var uppeh\u00e5ll. Tillvaron skavde inte bara, den skar rakt in i mig. \u00c4nd\u00e5 jobbade vi p\u00e5. M hade t\u00e5lamod med mig, det m\u00e5ste jag s\u00e4ga. F\u00f6r jag var inte till s\u00e4rdeles stor hj\u00e4lp, tv\u00e4rtom, jag k\u00e4nde mig som en extremt korkad snickarpraktikant. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Jag sk\u00e4rpte mig. Det funkar ju, hyfsat, men priset \u00e4r inte kul. Kraschen senare p\u00e5 kv\u00e4llen var ett faktum, och inatt har galopperande sm\u00e4rta i h\u00f6fter och f\u00f6tter hindrat mig fr\u00e5n att sova. Hur l\u00e4nge till kan jag t\u00e4nja p\u00e5 min f\u00f6rm\u00e5ga, var g\u00e5r gr\u00e4nsen mellan uppbygglig envishet och nedbrytande envishet? Jag har ingen aning&#8230; <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dagar som dessa f\u00f6rtvivlar jag faktiskt. K\u00e4nner att jag tagit mig vatten \u00f6ver huvudet totalt. Att f\u00f6rutom bygga p\u00e5 hjulhuset ocks\u00e5 f\u00f6rs\u00f6ka jobba f\u00f6r att tj\u00e4na pengar g\u00e5r inte ens att fantisera om. Viljan finns men f\u00f6rm\u00e5gan r\u00e4cker inte till&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u00c4nd\u00e5 gnager en envis r\u00f6st inom mig. &#8221;Forts\u00e4tt, det \u00e4r r\u00e4tt v\u00e4g.&#8221; Jag kommer klara det h\u00e4r. Fast jag gr\u00e5ter hejdl\u00f6st vissa dagar, och kanske \u00e4r det detta jag f\u00e5r l\u00e4ra mig till slut: Att man n\u00e5r sina m\u00e5l tack vare att det f\u00e5r lov att vara asjobbigt mellan varven. Att man inte ger upp trots att det k\u00e4nns helt hoppl\u00f6st. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"768\" height=\"1024\" data-attachment-id=\"3104\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/lagvattenmarke\/img_7863\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bruin.se\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/IMG_7863-e1569820796453.jpg?fit=2448%2C3264&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"2448,3264\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;2.2&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;iPhone 6&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;1569777352&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;4.15&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;50&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0.01&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;6&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"IMG_7863\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bruin.se\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/IMG_7863-e1569820796453.jpg?fit=225%2C300&amp;ssl=1\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bruin.se\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/IMG_7863-e1569820796453.jpg?fit=768%2C1024&amp;ssl=1\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bruin.se\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/IMG_7863-e1569820796453-768x1024.jpg?resize=768%2C1024&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-3104\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bruin.se\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/IMG_7863-e1569820796453.jpg?resize=768%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bruin.se\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/IMG_7863-e1569820796453.jpg?resize=225%2C300&amp;ssl=1 225w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bruin.se\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/IMG_7863-e1569820796453.jpg?resize=600%2C800&amp;ssl=1 600w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bruin.se\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/IMG_7863-e1569820796453.jpg?w=2280&amp;ssl=1 2280w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><figcaption>Hur sv\u00e5rt kan det vara\u2026? O\u00f6verstigligt superduperj\u00e4ttej\u00e4ttesv\u00e5rt. Ibland.<br>Och lekande l\u00e4tt andra dagar.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ig\u00e5r var en hemsk dag. Of\u00f6rm\u00e5gan n\u00e5dde all time high. S\u00f6ndagar \u00e4r snickardagar (liksom tisdagar och onsdagar, f\u00f6r d\u00e5 har M tid att jobba med), och jag var s\u00e5 stolt \u00f6ver min toaletthj\u00e4lteinsats dagen innan. Trodde det kunde bli en &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/lagvattenmarke\/\">Continued<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2399,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"_oct_exclude_from_cache":false,"kt_blocks_editor_width":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[870,2881,2861,1062,265],"tags":[994,874,2862,505,2513,1063,23],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bruin.se\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/IMG_4505.jpg?fit=2448%2C2448&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7ETe6-O3","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3103"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3103"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3103\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3105,"href":"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3103\/revisions\/3105"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2399"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3103"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3103"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3103"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}