This will be quite a long text. Hope you manage to read. The point comes at the end:-)
Trust. To trust to. To trust to others. For that trust to be able to exist in a human, they need to know a true belief that everything is good, even if it isn't exactly what you want for yourself. I am beginning to learn that it's incredibly large difference between trust and control. I will also begin to learn that it is incredibly easy to confuse these two opposites.
I have always spoken beautifully and oliktänkandets benefits, if that variety is important. That if all thought and did the same, it would be a very nasty world to live in. I have argued for the importance of doing wrong, practice makes the skill. I have also, with the dubbelkulturella light I have, been aware that there are always many more truths. There are always new angles from which to get. So in theory, I am an avid proponent of the concept of trust.
How I feel about this image? Anxiety or joy? Why then? What does that say about our ability to feel trust?
But stop, how does trust together with all that stuff, do you wonder. Calm, it will, hang on in the text, as long as:-)
I know a lot about trust. But knowing and knowledge is not quite the same thing. I know a lot, but may not so much. I can not trust that good. This is therefore a nut I wrestle with: I have a hard time with trust.
So this has proved:
Once childhood playmates were for adventurous, unpredictable, I tried calling for order, it did not work so I was scared and pulled me aside. When they wanted to decide in the play I did not want to be with.
When my partners not responded to my expectations on how a partner should be, so I have all tried to change them. When it didn't work (of course), I've wept, surat, become angry, blamed from me or given up. Either them or myself.
When all the family members pulled in different directions and exchanged odd so I tried like a herding dog so all kept together, not barked at each other and were satisfied. It hardly helped. Least happy I became myself.
When small or large social structures did not work so I think they should work, I've tried to argue for change in different contexts, and if not it helped become upset, irritated, declared. And nothing changed for the better. Anyway according to my definition.
When I do something, I want to make it perfect, so perfect it could be the basis of my ability. If what I do may not be perfect, so I lose all power. What is "perfect" is measured, of course, after my yardstick. And the bar is set Very High …
Even as utmattningsdrabbad I want to be there as the "correct" as possible. Do the right thing. Think right. Be the perfect utmattningsdrabbade ….
I think this need for control is not unique to me. Most people have enough similar moves, at least in certain contexts. But now that the world is boiling, and upset feelings storms through the media, I think it is more important than ever to dive into yourself and look at how you have it with their ability to trust.
Check the absolute need to fill an important function. If I had not had access to the property had my children might have died in various accidents or become selfish, callous monster all three. It was good to put up a gate between our site and the embankment so that Mirja yearling would Toddle down and wobble along on the little bridge over the stream and climb up on the train track more times. Or nag the ears of Richard that he would stop teasing everyone and everything, because I wanted him to make that they were sad, no matter if they laughed. It was good that we were perceived as troublesome parents in the municipality's eye and changed the school of 7åriga Luke's part, because he really hated school and felt bad, and it was so much better at the new school. Need for control is good.
But not when the trust is stifled in the control requirement. When the trust is stifled because of painful experiences, it is easy to get caught up in the need for control. I guess those who lost a loved one, especially a child, may feel this in full force. All thoughts welling over them. "If I just…". For the awful things happening, of course, we can't get away from it. Chance turns in all directions. No matter how much control we exercise. Life is unpredictable, accidents occur, large and small. Therefore, the risk is great that you are trying to control your life more and more the older you get, because you have experience that brought pain, and we want to avoid more pain. Which of course does not help. Man gets life cramp.
But the need for control is therefore necessary, in order to avoid accidents that could be avoided. Or to achieve goals. If successful sports people had not had working discipline and carefully kept track of their workouts, they would not achieve their goals. If building managers are not regularly inspected the building process, that it was up to scratch, so it would be a cheat. And so on. Yes, testing is good in many ways.
But life goes on, even without human control. We breathe, we grow, wounds heal. We are born, we die. Without control. Seasons change, weather shifts. Without control. Social structures are born, evolve, dies. Knowledge, theories, religions, truths as well. War flares up, Berlin walls fall down. Change is continuous. Nature, life, it just is. Without control. In the large and the small. In me. It's so easy to lose the understanding of it. Forget the trust in that everything is already, and that everything is changing.
Life Is. The dying and living again and again. Constant.
There are teachings that shows how one can accept and the rest of what life is, without trying to change it, fight it. They teach how to first through acceptance can open up for real change. It does not change. Change occurs as a natural laws. I have always wanted to teach me (in theory, is to say): having confidence that change occurs, when the situation is mature. This has, of course, I also got to practice me on very much, thanks to my exhaustion. Away from theory, straight down the realitetens reality.
But it's so hard not to do anything. I want to make myself healthy. Check the events. It is so difficult to have confidence in the process. No one is healthy by doing nothing? The world is not a better place if I do nothing? So I have been thinking all the time. And stuck in control need over and over again.
Thanks to the internet and my endless desire to learn more, I have thankfully come across some great insights about confidence recently. I love when the insights come via logical reasoning. For me it works so. My hungry, curious, thinking intellect is my bond but also my rescuer:-)
(Like the time I worked out, mathematically/logically, that I would not be less hungry for chocolate (I've been totally dependent on sugar from childhood until a few years ago) if I gave in and took a bite, two pieces or three pieces (or five chocolate bars, until I got to my stomach). Chocolate craving would be left behind, and even increase as I ate chocolate more often. Then it was suddenly easy to resist. I accepted the chocolate craving, ended the fight against it, but not chocolate. It was ridiculously easy. Since I did the same thing with all the sugar. Accepted the craving for sugary foods, but the downtrend on all that contained sugar. And the change came by itself then. Now I eat sugar, but think it tastes right. I have the urge to go, but is not satisfied by giving in to it. The urge is there the whole time, manifesting itself in everything. There is always something. A gadget, a meeting, something to eat or drink. A kick, a confirmation. It's emptiness the feeling I have inside of me, that you have within you, which never completely disappears. I'm trying to numb it, give in to it, and so it grows just instead … But now I lose the thread …)
Thanks to the internet I stumbled upon a series where a mathematics professor (Marcus du Sautoy-The Code, on Netflix, and here) in an exciting way told me about the magical connection to Everything. Where I found out the following strange correlations:
When 1600 people must guess the number of beans in a large glass jar (4510th beans), so cut ends up on their guesses scary near the right number of beans (1600 response between 400 and 1600th = 53000 divided by 4515). No matter how mad they guess. The group as a whole is right! This experiment has been done in many different ways, and it's always the same results. The answer ends up ridiculously close to the truth. As soon as the people who guess have access to extra information, so crack the magic. For example, if they are allowed to guess a few more times and each time learns something new, so they adjust their responses. The more they know, the farther from the truth will flock.
Many are beautifully:-)!
Then he showed, using mathematics, how everything in life, on Earth, is lagbundet in various forms and formulas. How we can predict the future by reading several Google searches because of the great masses thoughts and opinions are collected there. (This makes it true that we direct our attention to manifest, I immediately thought … The law of demand, consumer power, etc. ..) Logical, clear. Not fuzzy at all. Pure mathematics!
For me meant these mathematical context a breakthrough on the notion of trust. If I think I need to know more, do more, discuss more, act more for that life to be more "correct", so I will just further and further from the truth. Also, if I think I have more rights than anyone else, and that this (the others are "wrong") is a problem that prevents that things get "right", so am I completely out and bicycles! The variety of views and perceptions of reality is in fact a prerequisite for the flock to get as close to the truth as possible. The Variation Is Needed!
Help ….! So if I meet a jerk who has completely insane opinions so I can simply just be glad that they stand for variation … and even show me loving vis-à-vis the person …! What a totally uplifting truth!
Stronger than that: the more we become who know trust, that differences are good, that you do not need to know so much, the more inside the fight between "right and wrong" the closer the truth we will. … Help …!
Even more than that: the more who feel the confidence that change is happening, not to make the change, the more people who have confidence that what you draw attention to, the manifest, the more who feel the confidence that you are not wearing the world alone on his shoulders but that we do it together, the more familiar reliance on that variety is a prerequisite for the "truth"-the faster we see that the world is already the place we all dream about.
Excuse my bushy enthusiasm ….:-) It was a pretty great insight ….!
Back to the plastic on our shores. It is miserable, Yes. It is terrible, Yes. You feel the initial anxiety. The whole society has done so for some time. Paralysed. Head in the sand. "It's someone else's plastic/error! It was not I who threw …! " But now begins the change happen. It is not possible to close our eyes anymore. Plastic question at issue in many parts of the world. The time is ripe, the change is in progress. Time to stop blaming themselves, time to jointly take hold. So positive! You will be happy!
Trust that is. …. I don't need to do. I need to be. Trust me, for you, at all. So I choose to be in love, even when I hate and despair. It's still the flock, we all, who creates the world together.
I might as well just as easily fail to take that piece of chocolate/control/opinion/jagmåstekrampen the need for anxiety. Relax. To accept. Pick up some plastic junk when it feels right. Then change to HAPPEN:-):-))
Hugs to you, 3 3 < < < 3