Love it with the word "good". It describes the combined feeling of virility, obönhörlighet and njutbarhet.
It blows out. The river out. There is good content/cold/rainy. It hurts good. It will do good. Mmmm you can really feel it!
I have some heavy duty days behind me. Powerless Depp days. Solo heavy days. Faint surdagar. Like that days when I wonder what is the point of the effort at all. I'm useless anyway. I am a shadow of my former self, a disabled social parasite that cannot even manage to be on sick leave to a successful conclusion …
Days when I hate that internal talented girl who even tries to be clever. Eat right, sleep right, socialize in time, avoid coffee, alcohol, sugar and power-hungry people. Good girl that does not become bitter, jealous and childish. Good girl who, like a modern-day Cinderella joints in its lot with a loving smile on her face and trust in the heart.
I gave up, I can tell. The last 24 hours I have flourished in bitterness, the victim's feelings, anger and petulance. Have really hated everything and everyone who is successful and the smiles and everything and everyone that says that it is his own succeed Smith. Thought extremely nasty thoughts about my employer that exposed me to this fate. Göttat me unreasonable annoyance to all the people in my life who so obviously does not seem to care a little bit about me sitting here alone and unable and forgotten. Felt smothered by powerless anger facing a health insurance system that is designed for anything other than a sick person who want help to get back in and be for the benefit of society.
And so I woke up last night that I asked myself-high: "it might be right sometimes to take up arms? To fight? " It was a shocking question to come from myself, I can promise. I hate conflict, violence and war, in large and small. I am always empathy, desire for understanding and the importance of listening. My question shocked me so hard that I woke up with a jolt. I realized something big tonight. I am cursed. I am so innehelvete angry, so urbota tired of sitting here at home, to no avail, brain damaged by exhaustion and unable to entreprenöra myself out to a fruitful life. I am angry because I have needed lots of help and have not received it. I am angry because I also found me in there with a damn osexigt sure-is-my-kind-of course-would-you-help-me-smile. Now get that hand!
-Dicked off them all!!
Then I fell asleep.
And imagine. I woke up and suddenly had access to energy. I rode out in the Sun and wind to dykbutiken at Tanumstrand. I bought myself a pair of diving gloves for my last money this month (half sick pay at lowest level this time, was not enough for more than 4 days). They'll warm my hands when I harvest seaweed. Then I cycled home and signed up for Råsjö Saturday, where I intend to sell homemade deodorant, and Ginger drink and photographs and books and a bit of each. And so called Kristol and offered me timjobb as beach cleaners, as early as next week. The icing on the cake, as well.
Good mos! Now roll it on again!
(Just beware me extremely carefully, that I am not "active" more than just the number of hours per week that I am not sick. Otherwise, the insurance fund may decide that I do not have the right to be remunerated for longer) … (how they believe this I have still not really took, but they succeed well with that scare the hell out of me)
Yes, and now I need to probably go and rest for a while … 🙂